Blessed

Tomorrow will be the first day of a new life.
Tomorrow I will be baptized.
More to come........

emotional vomit

Everything that happened with Jimmy was over months and months ago. So, it should be this faded distant memory that dosent matter anymore, right?!? Well, I thought it was, but i guess its not. These past few weeks it just keeps finding its way back into my mind, back into my heart, and its killing me. I really loved him. Even though I know now that he didnt love me, it dosent change the fact that I loved him. And, I've discovered, painfully,that neither rejection nor cruelty makes love just stop instantly. Sometimes I even think I miss him, or maybe just they way he made me feel when things were good. I know that makes me crazy, and I'm sure he dosent deserve it, but that dosent change it.
Every sunday I see Mark and he dosent talk to me or shake my hand and it crushes me cause I looked up to him so much and he clearly holds it against me. I want to talk to him but I have no Idea what I'd say. And then I see Nicole at church, and It just brings back all these hurtful emotions. Between the two of them it just makes me so sad and that distracts me and I feel like my hearts not where its supposed to be.
I keep prayin and prayin, but I think I'm just not doing it right, Cause I still feel all wrong. I'm frustrated and exhausted. My mind is all cluttered up and its weighing me down.
I know some of you all are on pretty good terms with the man up stairs, If you could put in a good word for me, an extra prayer or two couldnt hurt.

doing it again

Crap! or in the recent words of my momma...Crap, crap, crap crap, crap! I woke up this morning and realized that I'm all jacked up again. I didnt intend it, but isnt that how it always happens?! I'm going along, doing well, praying, reading, living as best as I can....then I get.... comfortable, and distracted. Before I know it my bible is collecting dust and I've let my self slip, and I'm headed in the total wrong direction. And, why is it that when we need God the most, Its the hardest to talk to him?

Jacqueline

So how can I girl talk, when there are no girls to talk to? Really though, I miss you girl. Cant wait till you get back. Dont forget, the ball is next month. Be prepared cause we're gonna tear it up. I already started lookin for a dress, no luck yet. I'm even considering crashing the Airforce Ball. But, how much fun would that be without my partner in crime?!.....
So check out this pic..:) WE are such geeks!! Miss ya!!

Girlz at da beach

Jacqueline,Beth, and I at the beach. The day I learned the hard way that while snorkeling you only get sun on the back side of your body. Man, did I have a strange sunburn. Word to the wise about sun screen(even the waterproof kind) ...............REAPPLY!!
I took lots of underwater pictures, but unfortunatly, not many came out well at all. Maybe next time.